The rules of Secret Santa

The basic rules

1. 1.Each participant gives to exactly one person and receives from exactly one person.
2. 2.Nobody can draw themselves.
3. 3.The assignment stays secret until the day of the exchange.
4. 4.Everyone spends within the same budget range.
5. 5.Everyone hands over their gift on the agreed date, present or not.

How many participants you need

Technically it works from three people, but under five it is easy to deduce who drew you. The sweet spot is between six and thirty participants.

Above forty it is worth splitting into groups by department or by family: the logistics of one giant draw usually leave someone without a gift.

The budget

Agreeing the budget before the draw, not after, is the single rule that prevents the most friction. Ideally set both a minimum and a maximum.

If the group is economically diverse, a low budget levels everyone. You can also agree on a theme instead of an amount: "handmade", "second-hand", "something edible".

Exclusions

An exclusion is a rule of the type "A cannot gift B". The most common ones are:

• •Couples who do not want to draw each other, because they exchange gifts separately.
• •Siblings or immediate family, so the draw actually mixes people up.
• •Repeats from last year.
• •People who work side by side daily, in large office draws.

Do not overdo it: the more exclusions, the fewer possible combinations. Add so many that no valid assignment remains and the draw becomes impossible, forcing you to relax one.

Timing that works

1. 1.Four weeks out: close the participant list.
2. 2.Three weeks out: run the draw and agree the budget.
3. 3.One week out: send a reminder to the group.
4. 4.The day itself: exchange gifts, ideally with everyone present.

Known variants

• •With clues: each participant writes three hints about themselves, read aloud before revealing who they are.
• •With wishlists: everyone notes two or three things they would like. This is the variant that most improves satisfaction with the gift.
• •With stealing (White Elephant): gifts have no assigned recipient and, in turns, each person can open a new one or steal someone else's. It is a different game and is best not mixed with classic Secret Santa.
• •Themed: every gift must meet a condition, such as handmade, second-hand or edible.

What to do if someone drops out

If they drop out before the draw, remove them from the list and nothing happens. If they drop out afterwards, the cleanest fix is re-running the whole draw and telling the group, because removing one person breaks the chain of assignments.

That is why it pays to close the list a few days before drawing, rather than drawing as soon as the first person signs up.

Frequently asked questions